WoW. Wow? Not so much. I realize that I’m in the minority, the tiny minority of gamers who are not impressed with World of Warcraft.

I’ll admit I have a low threshold for repetition; as any devoted WoW-er knows, in order to get to the point where you can team up with parties and go questing you need to level up your character Which means you have to grind, grind, grind, killing hundreds upon hundreds of monsters for untold hours to raise your experience level to the point where you’d be a useful party member.

Did you enjoy that run-on sentence? If I were to write this entire blog entry in one sentence with no punctuation you would have already stopped reading. That’s a good allegory for my experience with WoW. Grinding is so dull that people had to create scripts to make their characters grind automatically with no supervision. That’s fun?

There must be a particular mindset prevalent in die-hard WoW players. Party questing is what most people stick around for, and I didn’t last long enough to qualify for group outings, so I can’t comment on that aspect. Probably if I’d persevered through all the grinding I may have had a lot more fun with WoW.

Maybe not, though. What’s up with the graphics in World of Warcraft? The design of the game was barely passable when it first came out; you’d think that several years later they would have revamped the thing. But no, it’s still the blocky, neon-hued, often poorly-mapped environments, and characters that look like they have a polygon count as low as the Marines in Quake 2. (Okay, maybe that’s a little harsh. Quake 3? You know what I mean.) Granted, it’s a fantasy game and it’s not meant to look realistic. But really. (By the way, whatever happened with NURBS? Weren’t we due for an improvement over polygons some time ago? I’m really sick of seeing hexagonal wheels.)

Right around when WoW hit the peak of its popularity we started seeing a whole bunch of free-to-play MMORPGs, most from Asia - with graphics that aped those of WoW. In fact, aside from their decidedly Asian-influenced design, they were practically WoW clones, offering the same kind of grind-and-level gameplay. Given the success of WoW, many of these games garnered immense interest and made prett good money via microtransactions (the sale of in-game items like clothing and weapons).

Now that MMORPGs are huge business, we expect more. There’s really no reason anymore for crappy graphics. The first evidence I’ve seen of a true leap forward in design is Lord of the Rings Online. Right now I’m previewing the new expansion, Mines of Moria, and let me tell you, it’s a world away from the WoW generation.

Next up: More on Mines of Moria.

The first multiplayer online role-playing game I ever played was Ultima Online - meaning, paid for a subscription and invested innumerable hours in developing a character. It was a natural move for me; Ultima VI was my introduction into the world of single-player RPGs, and the game fascinated me to no end. The world of Britannia was teeming with citizens, each of whom had his or her own schedule. Merchants would wake up and open their shops at a particular time, then close down and go home. Citizens roamed the streets, often talking to other citizens. Everyone had an agenda, a timetable. I was thrilled to be a part of this already living world - the possibilities seemed endless.

Graphics back then were still pretty crude: EGA was the norm, or basic 16-color VGA if you were lucky enough to have a 16-bit machine like mine: a 386SX/16 with 4mb RAM and a 40mb hard drive - plenty of room to house the game data. Inside the big game box stuffed with manuals and a big cloth map were no less than 12 - count ‘em, 12 - installation disks. The actual floppy ones of yore - huge, bendy floppy disks. I’ll never forget the time I lost installation disk 10 … nevermind.

Years later when I heard that Origin was putting out an online version of Ultima, the slobbering began immediately. I somehow wrested myself into the Beta and behold, there was Ultima in all its 2D isometric, sprite-filled glory. The graphics were a slightly improved version of those in Ultima VII (the last decent SP Ultima title) and the game world seemed huge. And crowded - often there were so many players on screen you couldn’t find your own avatar. I played for several months along with my girlfriend at the time who, mercifully, was also a gamer. Questing with her was a blast.

As with most games, I eventually tired of playing UO and cancelled my subscription (my gf kept playing for a couple of years!). But UO had catalyzed a watershed, and soon we saw games like EverQuest (EverCrack as my buddies called it) and Asheron’s Call take over the online-gaming playing field. I tried both of those and became almost instantly bored. Nevertheless, a new cash cow had been born. I doubt anyone involved had any idea just how enormous the genre would become.

Online gaming took a back seat for me - it was in the trunk, actually - for a number of years. (Writing for CNET left precious little time for frivolous gaming.) Then, out of nowhere, came World of Warcraft. From the Diablo people. Diablo? That isometric dungeon crawler? What the hell could this online thing be?

At the very least, it was the birth of a new acronym: MMORPG.

Next up: WoW, the free-to-play explosion, and Lord of the Rings Online.

Okay, so there’s this free, fantasy Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game (MMORPG) called MapleStory. Its a 2-dimensional, side-scrolling affair that’s cute as cute can be:

Three words: Marriage. Divorce. Death.

As in many fantasy MMOs, you can find a mate and get married in MapleStory. Naturally, since you’re hiding behind an in-game avatar that represents you in the game, you’re more likely to toss aside inhibitions and let loose - seek out and engage in random sexual encounters, get naked, curse like a sailor or kill strangers for kicks - without fear of repercussion. You’re also free to marry anyone you’d like, and of course such a marriage carries no legal weight outside the game.

Enter a Japanese couple who did just that: met and got married in the world of MapleStory. Things went swimmingly for a while - in fact, the two players developed such a close bond that they even traded the login and password information for each others’ MapleStory accounts. If that isn’t love, what is?

Apparently this wasn’t. Details are scarce, but the 43-year-old (IRL) woman’s 33-year-old (IRL) husband decided to cut things off and divorced her without so much as a warning. In the game, that is - we’re not sure whether they’re married in the outside world.

We all know that Hell hath no wrath like a woman scorned: She used her ex’s login information to sign in to his MapleStory account, and promptly murdered his cruel, heartless MapleStory avatar. “I was suddenly divorced, without a word of warning. That made me so angry,” she was quoted as saying.

And women wonder why men are so commitment-phobic.

Needless to say, her ex wasn’t pleased - in fact he called the police. I wish I were privy to that conversation. Can you report a murder if you’re not really dead?

The woman has been apprehended on suspicion of hacking, a charge which could lead to a prison term of up to five years or a fine as high as $5,000. Luckily for her, there’s been no sign of any real-world plot to have the man killed - so far.

Don’t these people have a sense of humor? It’s all make-believe. Plus, he could have killed her character right back - tit for tat - they already had the codes. (That’s what I would have done, anyway.) This poor couple obviously needs to get out of the house once in a while.

Really, the crime she committed is akin to reading your husband’s email when he’s not around. That’s all we need in this country: another excuse to get all litigious on someone’s ass. Ladies, take heed.

Although Spore received generally favorable reviews, the game still gets a bad rap in some quadrants (and by “quadrants” I mean “forums”). Players complain that gameplay is too simplistic, nowhere near the “evolution simulator” they expected thanks to the game’s incredible Hype Machine.

Another complaint is that it’s an amalgamation of several existing games - “lite” versions of titles like Flow and Civilization - an almost outright theft of ideas.

Well, Spore is not an evolution simulator, not by a long shot, but it really shouldn’t be judged by that standard. Spore is a whimsical sandbox, an elegantly-designed “build-it-and-see-what-happens” simulator.

And instead of theft, I prefer to think of the Spore’s similarities to other games as “inspired by” rather than stealing, since Spore’s versions are considerably watered-down - in context, though, still fun.

The first time I played through the game I moved quickly, anxious to see what fun things would come next. The result was that I finished the first three sections - amoeba through civilization - in a very short time, failing to enjoy the surprises that did occur by always anticipating the next.

If you want to get maximum enjoyment out of Spore, do not play this way. The true glory of Spore is in the details.

By far, the game’s strong point is its construction module. If you’ve tried the Spore Creature Creator you have a good idea of the strength of this contraption. It offers a slick, drag-and-drop design method that’s complex while still being fun. You can build any kind of malformed creature you want and then make it try to jump and ambulate around. It’s a great playground for wicked sadists like me.

But the creature builder is only the beginning. As you progress through the game you use the same drag-and-drop approach in creating buildings, cities, vehicles and finally, space ships. You could spend days building all sorts of exquisitely detailed objects and not even bother with the “game”.

As a true dork, I of course had no choice but to build a Federation starship for my first venture into space. You may bask in its glory:

Don’t get all bent out of shape, it’s not the Enterprise. It’s the U.S.S. Crustacea, so named due to its two crab-pincher-ish extra warp nacelles (experimental, ssh).

If you can work your way out of the creator, there’s a lot more detail to enjoy. Once you reach the Tribal stage, make it a point to zoom in close to the action regularly - there’s a lot of humorous stuff going on. In particular, the indigenous, non-sentient creatures on each planet are worth examining for their often bizarre design and behavior. It’s a hoot to fly in close with your space ship and scare the crap out of them - make sure to pick up a few and sling them across the surface of the planet. It’s also fun to abduct a species from one planet, place them on a less-hospitable planet and watch them perish in anguish.

Of all the sections, the Space Age is most interesting to me; the preceding parts seem paltry in comparison. In the Space Age you get access to a fairly expansive universe filled with a slew of different species to meet. Some races are cool and want to set up alliances and trade routes with you; others are just plain douchebags who want to kill you for no reason. I hate those guys.

I’ve been spending way too much time negotiating the Space Age. It’s one of those things where once you start playing you get hooked and end up telling yourself, “Okay, just two more missions, then I’ll stop” until 2 in the morning. It’s bad enough that a single galaxy offers so many things to do; once you hit the Space Age for the first time you can start up new Space Age galaxies with brand new species and civilizations. And the aliens are randomized each time, so it takes quite a while for the feeling of repetition to set in.

In defense of the complainers, I will say that I’m anxious to see what Spore 2 will bring. Like them I was sort of hoping that the creature-evolving part of Spore would be a little more complex, more like natural selection, with algorithms that would actively “evolve” a creature based on decisions you’d made - rather than the player having complete control. What we got this time was a sandbox. But according to Mr. Wright there are plenty of changes and add-ons in Spore’s future, so you never know.

As promised, here are last three vids of E3-tastic games.

Mirror’s Edge (PC, 360, PS3): This title was a surprise to me - I’d never even heard of it, then when I watched the video walkthrough I became an instant fan. Imagine what it might be like to be a UPS dude with no truck, delivering super important packages one by one while people are trying to kill you, and your primary routes involve leaping across the rooftops. In first-person POV. It looks fascinating. To get the full picture you need to see the developer walkthrough video.

I wasn’t lucky enough to be among the Press who attended E3 2008. But I’m still overwhelmed by the number of great games scheduled for release this year - thanks to Gamespot’s stellar coverage of the event. (Ah, to have such resources for a gaming site.)

There’s a whole bushel of games I can’t wait to get my hands on. I’m too lazy to list them all, but I thought it would be cool to post some E3 preview videos of a few of them, mainly for my own convenience. Oh, and you might enjoy them, too.

In no particular order:

Animal Crossing: City Folk (Wii): Yeah, I play Animal Crossing on DS - wanna make something of it? If you aren’t familiar with the series, it’s sort of like a “trainer” RPG, ostensibly aimed at kids but there’s something weirdly fascinating about it nonetheless. Without going into too much detail, some of the new features include the ability to exchange email with friends in the real world, and the integration of the WiiSpeak feature. What did you say? You wanna step outside?

I know that all of you were terribly worried when you heard that video game addiction might make its way into the DSM-V as a mental disorder.

Well, you can all breathe a sigh of relief. At least for now, there’s no way to become addicted to video games:

“There is nothing here to suggest that this is a complex physiological disease state akin to alcoholism or other substance abuse disorders, and it doesn’t get to have the word addiction attached to it,” said Dr. Stuart Gitlow of the American Society of Addiction Medicine and Mt. Sinai School of Medicine in New York.”

Make sure you pay attention to the news, though, in case the status changes and you suddenly find yourself jonesing for your next deathmatch.

Today is the official launch of our Solid State-powered redesign! This is a huge improvement for us, and a first in the industry, all to benefit you guys! We hope you love it as much as we do. Check out the press release:

PlayWhat.com Deploys Clientless Hybrid P2P Delivery Solution From Solid State Networks

Gaming Site PlayWhat.com Implements ION(TM) Media Accelerator for Faster Downloads and Seamless User Experience

TEMPE, AZ–(Marketwire - June 12, 2007) - PlayWhat.com, an emerging destination for game demos and media downloads, today announced site-wide integration of Solid State Networks’ peer-assisted delivery technology to provide the fastest content delivery available on the web. PlayWhat.com is a website that specializes in providing a consolidated library of game demos and media-rich content for quick and easy download access from both Firefox® and Microsoft® Internet Explorer®.

“We’ve configured every download — demos, trailers and other media — to be delivered by the ION™ Media Accelerator peer-assisted browser plug-in, with custom PlayWhat branding designed for us by Solid State Networks,” said Todd Volz, Executive Editor for PlayWhat.com. “As a result of Solid State’s outstanding implementation that combines HTTP with the BitTorrent™ Protocol, file transfer speeds have skyrocketed, allowing us to deliver high-quality content to our customers at blazingly fast speeds. Needless to say, this makes for an exceptional user experience.”

Faced with increasing bandwidth demand, PlayWhat initially resorted to rate limiting its servers, which ultimately compromised the user experience. The company explored numerous options and determined that technology from Solid State Networks would dramatically reduce bandwidth costs, provide more reliable downloads for consumers, and significantly enhance its users’ experience downloading game demos, movies and video reviews. Solid State Networks elected to work collaboratively with PlayWhat in order to demonstrate the new clientless peer-assisted solution made possible by the ION Media Accelerator technology.

“This collaboration has been mutually beneficial in many respects,” said Rick Buonincontri, CEO of Solid State Networks. “PlayWhat is an excellent showcase of a site-wide implementation of the ION Media Accelerator. We look forward to helping PlayWhat maximize their use of our DDN to further expand their network capabilities while helping them lower their per-unit delivery costs.”

“We’ve just launched streaming video reviews of games, and we couldn’t be happier with Solid State’s delivery of our video on-demand content,” Volz said. “The ease of integration coupled with high-performance results made Solid State’s peer-assisted technology a real windfall for us. The transition was seamless, and our users adopted the new download system quickly. We’ve received nothing but positive feedback.”

In its two years of existence, PlayWhat.com has steadily gained recognition as an outstanding provider of gaming downloads and information. With the addition of streaming-video reviews, PlayWhat intends to reinforce its reputation as the place you go when you want to “Know What to Play.”

Admittedly, so far I haven’t been too impressed with the PS3. Some analysts predict it will eventually surpass Xbox 360 and Wii in popularity, though I haven’t been convinced by such dubious claims.

Along comes PlayStation Home. We’ve seen very few details about Sony’s forthcoming virtual online community, but today a couple of user videos surfaced on GameTrailers.com showing guys checking out the Beta of the service, and I have to say, it looks great. This isn’t your grandparents’ “Second Life” - the graphics look very realistic and the community areas actually look like real places. You’ll see a bowling alley, pool tables, a video arcade, movies showing on screens, and a picturesque view from the lobbies’ futuristic, ceiling-to-floor windows.

Mind you, these videos were shot with a video camera pointed at a TV screen, so don’t expect hi-def captures, and the second one is in Spanish (?). But you’ll still get a great preview of what looks to be an intriguing bonus for PS3 owners. Enjoy.

Nearly a decade ago when I worked in IT at CNET, Quake II was all the rage. My fellow technicians and I got a huge kick out of designing multiplayer levels based on the layout of the CNET offices which, at the time, inhabited an old brick warehouse near the Wharf. It was a bi-level affair with impossibly high ceilings that split off into a separate TV studio in the back (remember those old CNET TV shows? I didn’t think so). All in all it amounted to an unconscionable waste of space, ripe for evil IT flunkies to convert into demonic halls of destruction.

After a hard day of fixing the inane technical problems of the largely un-tech-savvy staff, we would blow off steam by roaming the virtual halls of CNET raining destruction upon one another (all praise the nail gun). We even created skins using photos of the egocentric CEO and CFO at the time and wrapped them around bots which we mutilated with mutinous pleasure.

Why am I bothering to regale you with our sick-minded exploits? Well, apparently if IT technicians - nay, anyone - were to behave in the same manner today, they’d be risking arrest for alleged perpetration of terrorist acts, or expulsion from school, at the least.

Such was the fate of a high school senior (expulsion, not incarceration) in Fort Bend who, similarly, designed a FPS multiplayer map resembling the layout of his school, which he uploaded to the web for his friends to download and play.

This is getting ridiculous. It’s tantamount to a witch hunt. While there’s no decisive proof linking any real world violence to video games, the hysteria nonetheless continues to rise. If things continue like this, it’s only a matter of time before games such as the forthcoming Grand Theft Auto IV, which features a map designed to mimic New York City, become banned outright. Any game designed to look like a real world location could conceivably be used to hatch and rehearse a terrorist plot. Right? So, in effect, almost any gamer could be labeled a potential terrorist.

When I was a kid, my parents would boot me out of the house and say, “Go ride your bike or something.” No helmets, no knee pads - just me, a banana seat and a playing card flapping in the wheel spokes. Have things changed so much? Blame it on the News.